Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
