i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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