I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
