First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize