I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
