i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
