The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
