Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just crazy horny about you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
