We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is Oprah even human
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
