what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
