His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
