Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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