OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
