with your own penis?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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