you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
