I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
