Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
