why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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