also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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