Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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