I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
