I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
