Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize