Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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