I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
