i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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