please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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