you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
