Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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