He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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