Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize