He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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