Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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