even my farts smell like vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
