The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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