I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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