Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
