He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
