I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
