I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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