no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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