Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
