is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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