do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
