Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
