wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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