Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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