I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
