Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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