ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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