Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
