youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize