I wish I could punch you in the face.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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