Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its liver damage thursday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
