yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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