come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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