everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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