John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
