I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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