That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
