I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
