So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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