So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
