Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
