your room smells of hookers.
And success
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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