Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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