I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize