You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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