dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
