how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
