They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
